3 Key Qualities of Noble Leaders (Part 2)

Connection

In the first part of this series, we addressed the quality of awareness as the ground of noble leadership. While awareness is critical for being a noble leader, seeing and knowing what's happening (or NOT happening) around you is just the first step. Before a leader engages in skillful action (more on that in Part 3) s/he should first effectively make a connection. Since leaders cannot accomplish their missions without the help of others, quality connection is essential. However, simple contact should not be confused with connection. Walking by an employee’s desk and asking “How’s it going?” while continuing to walk out the door without waiting for a response is simply “contact.” For connection to occur, there needs to be sustained attention, listening (not just hearing), and a felt sense of genuine interest. Let’s break those down.

Sustained attention means being present without distraction. Training in mindfulness practice helps develop this skill. When we’re there, we’re really there…the whole time. We’re not stopping to look at our mobile device, or turning our head every time someone walks by, or glancing at the TV or computer screen. We’re totally present with the person we’re with.

Listening means giving the other person the gift of your full attention and absorbing what they’re saying. It means not thinking about what you’re going to do or say after the other person finishes speaking. It does mean fully HEARING what they’re saying, taking it in, and letting it enter your consciousness.   

Genuine interest is shown by demonstrating some form of empathy toward the other person based on what they’ve just shared with you. Empathy can sometimes be expressed verbally or non-verbally. An employee tells you he’s worried because he doesn’t know how he’s going to make a deadline and you say, for example, “I can see that you’re stressed out about that. What do you think would help support you in making that deadline?” If you lack the words at the moment, simply tilting your head and expressing concern can show you’re hearing and empathizing. Relating to the employee’s emotional state and expressing a willingness to help alleviate his pain in some way shows that you’re interested in his success, thus making you an ally in his success rather than a target for his frustration.

The key to each of these components is to be genuine. If you’re genuinely paying attention, genuinely listening, and genuinely interested, you will create genuine connections and develop an office, team, or workplace that is genuinely loyal because they will know that you care about them as people and not just as contributors to the bottom line.  

Part 3: Skillfulness (stay tuned)